Oh, The Insanity
by Areka Tyliss
Summary: What if a bunch of different characters from random shows got sucked into a variety of uh, interesting places? Well, if you really want to know....
1. The Madness Begins

Chapter One The Madness Begins 

Disclaimer: Never in a million years would I own any of these fine characters. And why should I? However, Skyyetide, Saltysunne, Icefyre, and the Moonstarre do belong to my imagination. I saved them.

"Ah, me matyies. What a fine day this be indeed. I was just 'bout to have a nice sit down with my good pal, my rum flask."

Captain Jack Sparrow did not feel as if this was going too well. When had it all started going down hill like this? It was just an innocent boat ride, like a cruise for free. Will missed the feel of the rocking sea, like a true pirate ought to, so Jack, being the gentleman he was, offered a trip for the happy couple's honeymoon. Elizabeth had been hesitant but at Will's look of ecstasy, she gave in quickly. She then proceeded to pack every last bloody thing on earth like a true woman ought to.

The trip had started great. The only thing that didn't sit well was the stop in Tortuga, and he was now about to suffer the consequences of a good time. Three whores had just sauntered off of the Pearl. That would have been fine if not for Bloody Will. So, Elizabeth just had to sneer at one of the more fierce whores, Rachel. Who then turned and asked what Elizabeth's problem was. Naturally Elizabeth and Rachel ended in a shouting match.

Even, this could have been worked out if not for Belle. She had to go and grope Bloody Will. Then he had to allow her and after she purred in his ear for a grand total of ten seconds, Elizabeth lost it. The three whores, rushed off the boat, probably terrified out of their boots.

Just because he was being Captain Jack Sparrow, he opened his big mouth and the words that came out weren't the wisest to say the least. Nowadays? Jack would have won the Darwin Awards.

"Aww, come on luv, can'tye let a man 'ave a lital fun?"

No one on that ship knew that a high class young lady, such as Elizabeth, knew those kinds of curses, could scream quite that loudly, or hit that hard.

Jack was thoroughly beat to a bloody pulp before Elizabeth humphed and went below decks. Pretty much, she had been giving him the silent treatment and Will wasn't exactly pleased with the pirate captain either.

They had just stopped at a rare, respectable place, to stretch the crew's legs a little bit. At the moment, Elizabeth and Anna Marie had just approached him with greedy and mischievous looks on their faces. Anna seemed like she was trying to bite back a laugh, but Elizabeth looked solemn.

"Mr. Sparrow, I wanted to go shopping, with my friend here, and I need a bit of money."

Captain Jack Sparrow, fiercest of all Caribbean pirates(according to him), cringed at the word shopping. He sighed, this was only to be expected.

"I'd luv to 'elp ya out luv, but if mem'ry serves right, you 'ere 'ave bin ignorin' me. Why should I be inclined to aquest you?"

Elizabeth stared at him hard and cold before replying with as much dignity as she could muster,

"Mr. Sparrow, you deserved what I gave to you and you have no right to complain. I promise to forgive you if you let me borrow some money."

Jack raised his eyebrows. He was not about to be beaten by a woman, no matter how right she was.

"Ye made me suffa sooooo much. Why shou' I now give you my hard earned money luv?"

Elizabeth rose up to her full height(difficult with a baby I'd imagine), but it made no difference, seeing as how Jack was so much taller than her.

With her most piercing stare she said icily,

"I will pay you back later. I promise not to yell at your WHORES anymore, I will forgive you, AND I might even think about telling Will to forgive you."

Jack grinned, very much like a coyote.

"Wha' more couldda man want?"

He handed over the said money and the women promptly turned to saunter off. Little did any of them know that soon, they would have more to worry about than, dare I say it, shopping.

**(Boo, hiss!) **

Because right at this moment, Will came over and stood there wanting an explanation for why the women were leaving. No one got a chance to say anything because, right at this very time and space, a black vortex/tornado swooped down, scooped up the entire Black Pearl and proceeded to swallow them all.

Everyone fainted immediately so no discomfort would be felt except for extreme and utter confusion.

**Author's note:**

I really do not enjoy shopping so I can sympathize with Jack here. If anyone has any questions, comments, constructive criticism, or wants to tell me they love me and want me to post a second chapter then REVIEW PLEASE! Da Moose


	2. It Gets Rather Worse

**_Chapter Two: It Gets Rather Worse_**

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters either or I'd be retired and I haven't even gotten a job yet. It's all Meghan's fault.

Inuyasha did not appreciate being disturbed. It really irked him, especially when he knew that he was in the wrong in a previously held argument with a certain somebody. It honestly didn't help either that the said person was the first face he would see if he dared to open those big kawaii golden eyes.

It was a pity really. If only he hadn't brought up that touchy subject. Or perhaps, if he'd shut up. Every little thing he did last night was probably the ultimately worst possible thing he could have done. An apology was definetly in order. If he wanted to stay alive that was.

The only problem was the overly-large ego of his, which kept stubbornly insisting that he, of course, was in fact correct.

Kagome prodded Inuyasha while wondering what the hell was going on inside that stupid, swollen head of his. 'Oh, but it's such a sexy head!' That was exactly what she didn't want to happen. She loved this dumb dog so much that she could never stay mad at his pig-headedness. Pig-headed as he was. She reminded herself of those awful comments he had made the previous night.

"Why do you care if I talk to Kikyo! You are dating some Hoho from your time AND you are in love with Koga! You don't see me complaining now do ya!" This, naturally, had been incorrect and had made absolutely no sense at all. As soon as he had said it, she started crying and a look of guilt flashed over his face.

Miroku watched the odd and at the moment, unhappy couple. He replayed the events last night as he had seen them. Accusations had flown back and forth until Kagome had started the water works. What exactly had the argument been about? Miroku racked his brains as Shippo skipped by, oblivious and completely unawares.

Sango was cooking breakfast and saw Miroku watching the sleepy Inuyasha. After Kagome had started crying and Inuyasha looked guilty, Kagome had stormed off. Inuyasha tried to talk but she cut him off. He had sat down where he was now and gone into a moody sleep. Kagome had returned a few hours later and cryed herself to sleep.

Sago beckoned Miroku and Shippo over to where she was seated, crosslegged.

"We should go. They," She gestured toward the hanyo and miko, "need to be left alone."

"Do you think they'll work it out on their own? Inuyasha might make it worse."

Sango shook her head.

"There's nothing we can do, so we might as well let them work it out themselves."

Shippo had figured out what was going on so he nodded.

During this conversation that was being quietly held, Inuyasha groaned and opened his eyes. He judged the situation quickly. He stood up and growled in Kagome's ear.

"I'm really sorry about last night. I was a bastard. You can sit me if you want."

He cringed at his last few words. They were meant to stay in his head and now he had said them out loud. He was in major need of mouth control. Kagome whispered that she was sorry too and they looked at each other with the knid of love in their eyes that's usually reserved for fairy tale moments. They would have kissed if not for the curious audience who had snapped out of it and were waiting for the soap opera to become entertaining.

If anyone had walked over there at that moment, they would have burst out laughing. **(That's precisely what I would have done, so it's a good** **thing I wasn't there. I was talking to Meghan.) **You can't imagine the look in Inuyasha and Kagome's big, anime eyes. It's the sort of love that just doesn't happen nowadays. You'd have to travel back in time to find it. It's almost holy, if you believe in that sort of thing.

Meanwhile, Shippo got bored. Hey he's a little kid, so it's boring right? At that moment, I decided that enough was enough and a large swirling vortex/tornado of doom descended upon the unwary people below and scooped them up along with everyone other major character in that particular series. Everyone imeadiately became unconscious so that no discomfort would be felt. Excepting disorientation, extreme, and utter confusion.

**Author's Note:**

**Well, ok. I did update without waiting for reviews, but that doesn't mean I don't want them. In case you haven't noticed this story will involve: many animes, an odd assortment of T.V. shows/ movies, interesting commentary by yours truly, weird elements, unusual settings, disturbing truths, and random thoughts. **


	3. A Turn For the Better

Chapter Three: A Turn For The Better

Disclaimer: I own many characters, however these are simply not one of them. sigh

"Yawn!" Kaoru stretched her arms up as high as they could be extended before attempting to crack open one eye. The bright sunlight shone in and blinded her. Refreshed as she was, she usually didn't wake up until later, according to her internal clock. Why was she up and waking? Had she had a bad dream?

"Busu, wake up!"

"Yeah Missy, I'm starving!"

"Good Morning Miss Kaoru!"

These voices were her bad dream. She groaned and wondered why everyone was waiting on her. Then it hit her. The Fair! Kaoru got up and began to get ready. She had laid out her favorite kimono, the yellow one with red on the bottom.

"I'll be right out!" She yelled while putting her hair up in her natural style, the ponytail. She looked and carefully selected the best ribbon from her vast collection. It was an aquamarine, it was radiant with her glossy, raven hair. As she smoothed it down she heard an unwelcome comment through her door.

"Sir Ken, we don't have to wait for her. We could just go, ourselves. Alone. Hohohohoho!" Kaoru could just imagine the fox ears popping out of her head. She knew Megumi was not serious, just pushing her buttons. Kaoru briefly wondered how Sano felt about the whole ordeal. She would be sure to fix that unlikely couple up later. As for now, she had to play the enraged part she was so famous for.

"Excuse me!" Kaoru slid open the door angrily. "You all better not leave me. In case you forgot I'm the one paying for this expedition." Kaoru paused for breathe, her companions didn't look impressed. Except for Kenshin who was watching her with an odd look in his eyes. If Kaoru hadn't known the Rurouni better, she might have sworn he was staring at her pervertedly. She shook her head and cleared her thoughts, reminding herself the many reasons that simply wasn't possible. 'He is ten years older than me, I'm ugly, he's hot, and I'm hallucinating. I love him, not the other way around.'

"I'm also paying for the food." You wouldn't think that these six, simple words could have quite the astounding effect that they did. The previously rude Sanosuke and impudent Yahiko were suddenly fawning over her as if she had become queen.

"Are you ready to go yet, because if you aren't I can wait…"

"Do you need help with anything, you know I live to serve.."

They looked like poor lost puppies. Kaoru couldn't help but giggle.

"Alright sillies, let's go to the Fair!" Sano and Yahiko whooped and tore out the door, no doubt racing each other, before they realized that their source of food was still standing inside the house. They ran back and pulled her with them.

"Hurry up Missy!"

"We'll be old by the time we get there!"

Kenshin smiled and followed close behind with Megumi. It was then that an odd occurance happened. A large dark vortex/tornado swooped down and sucked our heroes into oblivion. They were unconscious within seconds so they wouldn't experience any discomfort besides extreme and utter confusion.

**Author's Note:**

**Well, that was interesting. I think I've been quite good about updating so why don't you fans out there review? It really makes an author feel loved. Even if you don't have anything nice to say. Seriously. So please, take some time out of your busy schedule to just send over a few comments or questions. Advice and/or suggestions are greatly appreciated. If you don't want to waste your typing with that sort of crap, then telling me I rock is very nice too. Perhaps, you say, I think too juch of myself and ya know what? Your absolutely right. But hey! I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. Thanks, pleazzzzze review!**

**Dreamer**


	4. Oh god

_**Chapter four: Oh my #$& Lord!**_

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters. It's all Meghan's fault. It's always Meghan's fault.

It was just a normal day. The sky was blue, the mountain air was clear, the birds were singing and there was hardly any clouds. Except, the sky was mostly black with only a midnight blue tint, the mountain air was foggy, the ravens and crows were chanting death threats, and even if there were clouds you wouldn't be able to see them.

Lina Inverse couldn't care less. Her secretly beloved Gourry noticed absolutely nothing, not unusual, Amelia was playing scared and clingy on poor Zel who did not wish to be spending his day with a princess leeched onto his arm, and Filia was lost in her own thoughts. And best of all, Xellos hadn't shown up yet. It was a good day.

"Hi there everyone! Did you miss my company?"

There was an audiable groan from the other five people who would now have to suffer the annoying Xellos. Lina praised whatever diety that might be ought there for the upteenth time that Xellos had fallen in love with Filia and not herself. She pitied Filia, but at least she didn't have to put up with as much crap. Behind her Amelia was silently thanking as well.

"I detect a hint of exasperation eminating from you all. Geez, what a tough crowd." Xellos sighed. He wasn't in an especially cheerful mood today so acting this way was becoming very boring, very fast. His superior, Zellas, decided that he needed to kill Filia. Naturally, he, even as a monster, was incapable of such a deed and told his master so.

Of course, there had better be a good explanation for this nonsense. Xellos was lucky that he was on her good list or he might have been the one to die for refusing an order. Good, Zellas scared the living pants off of him. But what could he say?

'Zellas, I'm very sorry, but I am in love with your worst enemy, a golden dragon.' Either she'd laugh and figure it was a joke or fly into a rage and they'd both die. Niether outcome seemed appealing or pleasant considering Filia would die in both scenarios. He had said something lame like he wasn't feeling well or whatever. He had to find a way out of this awful predicament. He wasn't one for praying, but if was he might have prayed.

Meanwhile, Lina had noticed that Xellos wasn't nearly as annoying as usual and suspected something to be afoot. He would have said something by now if he wanted a favor, or if he was going to try and kill them all. Zelgadis was puzzling over the exact same thing.

Gourry, as expected, noticed nothing out of the ordinary and kept marching along with thoughts of the next inn they would hit and all the food bouncing around in his sadly, small brain.

Amelia whispered to Zel,

"Mister Xellos seems very sad today. I wonder what's wrong? Should we try to cheer him up?"

Zel shook his head.

"it's a miracle that we finally got him to shut up, we don't need to cheer him up to start talking again and pissing us all off."

Suddenly, out of the blue,(or into the black) a tornado/vortex swooped down and sucked them all into oblivion. They were knocked out immeadiately to avoid discomfort. Excepting, of course, complete and utter confusion.

**Author's Note:**

**O.k., that was interesting. I'm sorry this isn't very long, I haven't watched Slayers in a very long time so there wasn't much for me to say. Meghan, please can you start helping me with these chapters? I know I'm so great but come on. It's all your fault, btw.**


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